Post by red on Apr 24, 2007 0:14:44 GMT -5
An Iowa City Police Officer sporting a mohawk haircut, for which
he was at least 20 years too old, stopped me this evening on my
way from work to work, in order to remind me, repeatedly, that
I was not a car and that I had to stop behaving like a car, or else
I would get ticketed, because you know according to the law, I
could receive a ticket, same as everyone else. Well, he has one
half of his law straight, let's hope he works on the other. So,
what crime have I committed, what law or ordinance have I
violated that necessitated this interference from law enforcement,
you ask. He told me after the usual annoying "Do you know why
I stopped you?" that I was riding the left lane. Before I could say
anything he told me that he was aware that I was riding the left
lane, because I wanted to make a left turn, which I was only
allowed to make from the left lane. So, what is the problem, you
ask. According to this officer, I had entered the left lane too soon.
"You can't come down the road like a car for five blocks using the
left lane," he offered. I was irritated, because I had not ridden the
left lane for five blocks (Besides, what if I had?), so I asked him
whether he saw me change lanes. He admitted that he hadn't,
but added that this only proved that I had taken the left lane
too early. It was at this point that he threatened to ticket me, if I
did it again. I was exercising strict self-control, but at that moment
I could not keep a half-smirk from escaping. Oooh, officer, you
think the few dollars you are threatening to separate me from
are so precious to me, that I am going to start showing you
respect you haven't deserved, apologize for what I haven't done
and promise to never do again what I am going to, think you not?
The phrase "You are not a car." rang in my ears all evening long.
It was evident what this guy was trying to achieve. He did not
like the fact that I was riding boldly, confidently, making use of a
whole lane. No. He wanted me to ride apologetically, on the
portions of the road not used by cars, counting on charity from
car drivers to turn, move etc., always moving when there are no
car to be disturbed... It ain't happening.
Mr. Mohawk: In case you somehow end up reading this,
I am going to ride that same route at approximately the same
time every evening this week and I am going to switch to the left
lane in the same safe and legal manner as I always do, at
the same exact spot that I always do: Immediately south of
East Page Rd.; one and a-half blocks, or six houses north
of where the left lane becomes a turn pocket. Wait for me in your
lair (the driveway of the house in the northeast corner of Dodge
and Kirkwood). I'll be seeing you. You may ticket me, you may
terrorize me (terror is based on fear, which is instinctive and
therefore difficult to control), but I refuse to be intimidated by you.
-
he was at least 20 years too old, stopped me this evening on my
way from work to work, in order to remind me, repeatedly, that
I was not a car and that I had to stop behaving like a car, or else
I would get ticketed, because you know according to the law, I
could receive a ticket, same as everyone else. Well, he has one
half of his law straight, let's hope he works on the other. So,
what crime have I committed, what law or ordinance have I
violated that necessitated this interference from law enforcement,
you ask. He told me after the usual annoying "Do you know why
I stopped you?" that I was riding the left lane. Before I could say
anything he told me that he was aware that I was riding the left
lane, because I wanted to make a left turn, which I was only
allowed to make from the left lane. So, what is the problem, you
ask. According to this officer, I had entered the left lane too soon.
"You can't come down the road like a car for five blocks using the
left lane," he offered. I was irritated, because I had not ridden the
left lane for five blocks (Besides, what if I had?), so I asked him
whether he saw me change lanes. He admitted that he hadn't,
but added that this only proved that I had taken the left lane
too early. It was at this point that he threatened to ticket me, if I
did it again. I was exercising strict self-control, but at that moment
I could not keep a half-smirk from escaping. Oooh, officer, you
think the few dollars you are threatening to separate me from
are so precious to me, that I am going to start showing you
respect you haven't deserved, apologize for what I haven't done
and promise to never do again what I am going to, think you not?
The phrase "You are not a car." rang in my ears all evening long.
It was evident what this guy was trying to achieve. He did not
like the fact that I was riding boldly, confidently, making use of a
whole lane. No. He wanted me to ride apologetically, on the
portions of the road not used by cars, counting on charity from
car drivers to turn, move etc., always moving when there are no
car to be disturbed... It ain't happening.
Mr. Mohawk: In case you somehow end up reading this,
I am going to ride that same route at approximately the same
time every evening this week and I am going to switch to the left
lane in the same safe and legal manner as I always do, at
the same exact spot that I always do: Immediately south of
East Page Rd.; one and a-half blocks, or six houses north
of where the left lane becomes a turn pocket. Wait for me in your
lair (the driveway of the house in the northeast corner of Dodge
and Kirkwood). I'll be seeing you. You may ticket me, you may
terrorize me (terror is based on fear, which is instinctive and
therefore difficult to control), but I refuse to be intimidated by you.
-
